Getting Out of Bed in the Morning in the Durham Herald-Sun

A devotional of ‘comfort in heartache’

Alice Wisler hopes to help others deal with loss with ‘Getting Out of Bed in the Morning’


BY DAWN BAUMGARTNER VAUGHAN; dvaughan@heraldsun.com; 919-419-6563


DURHAM —

In the wake of the death of her 4-year-old son Daniel in 1997, Alice Wisler formed a grief organization to help other parents. Also an author of several fiction books, Wisler’s latest is a devotional. “Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache” (Leafwood Publishers, softcover, $13.99) is a collection of 40 devotionals for those dealing with various kinds of losses in their lives.

The idea for the devotional was formed as Wisler, who lives in Durham, went on walks, and each devotional includes ideas for contemplation while on a walk. It also includes a prayer, Bible verses and Wisler’s own personal stories of life and loss.

Daniel, who died after eight months of cancer treatments, would have been 21 now. The anniversary of his death is Feb. 2. What Wisler’s book shows, and what she experiences, is that “there is a God that sustains us through misery.”

What’s helped her be sustained is being around other believers who encourage and support her, Wisler said. A member of Blacknall Presbyterian Church, which she joined in 2002, Wisler has found that other members are willing to learn about Daniel and acknowledge his death.

“Bereaved parents want acknowledgement,” she said. They’re still grieving their child and still missing their child, always. Parents don’t want a pity party, Wisler said, just the acknowledgement that attending something like a celebratory event is hard.

Through donations, 106 copies of “Getting Out of Bed in the Morning” were sent this week to Newtown United Methodist Church in Connecticut, the community where 20 children and six adults were murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School in December. Victims included church members.

Writing has been a form of solace, great peace and hope after her son’s death, Wisler said. She hopes people will find encouragement from her book, with a message to point to God. It helps to see what God has to say about bereavement, grief and fear, she said, and “how we can live in spite of the suffering.”

Below is an excerpt from “Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache” by Alice J. Wisler:

(Pages 44-47, devotion Seven)
“Rescue Me!”

. . . my eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, O Lord, every day; I spread out my hands to you. — Psalm 88:9

Observing a temper tantrum in a child is no easy feat. We watch a child asking for a cookie, and then when denied she continues to beg, and then the begging leads to wailing. Nine times out of ten, kicking and screaming follow. Sometimes the only way to stop the escalating behavior is to pick the child up and hold her until she, at last, is exhausted and settles in her parent’s arms.

As adults, often we’re still like a child. We vacillate between wanting to pull away, storm out, go our own way, and wanting to be rescued from ourselves. Somebody hold me, help me take my eyes off of me and my dilemma and focus on something else.

At times, like a child, we get to a place where we are totally out of sorts, unable to even see or think clearly anymore. Life seems to have swallowed us whole. We are in dire need of help. Open your eyes and look to the One who is standing beside you, His arms outstretched. He wants to pick you up and hold you until your tears and frustration cease.

When a mother came back home from a Mary Kay party with more makeup on than she usually wore, her four-year-old daughter stood at a distance for a moment before running into her arms. Then smiling into her face, the child said, “I know it’s you, Mommy! I know you’re in there.” While you might put on a new façade in the form of a different hairstyle or article of clothing, you can’t fool those who are closest to you. They still recognize you. How much more acquainted with you is God! He knows you better than you know yourself. He loves you more than anyone ever can or will.


Reflections to Ponder
Close your eyes and spread out your hands. Lift them up over your head. Stretch them out in front of you, palms up. Imagine God reaching out for you. Spend a few moments in silence. Listen for God’s stirrings in your heart. Close and then open your hands as though you are giving your concerns over to God. Read aloud Psalm 88:9: “. . . my eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, O Lord, every day; I spread out my hands to you.” In response to this verse, read also Psalm 18:19: “He [the Lord] brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.”

If you feel overwhelmed by what you feel your life is lacking or what you think is not right, jot down your concerns. Sometimes releasing your pent-up discontent helps because you are getting it out of your mind and letting the paper hold the weight of it. What troubles you? Can you put your fears on paper? Do you believe that the Lord will counsel you as you seek Him (Ps. 16:7)?

Prayer:
Save me for I am drowning.
Save me for I worry.
Save me for I fear.
Save me for I am consumed with despair.
Save me, O God.
You have rescued me
from drowning, from worry,
from fear, and from despair.
Thank you, O God.

When You Walk:
Find a park to walk to and a place to sit. On a note pad, list what you know about God to be true. How will you implement these truths in your daily life?

[Excerpt courtesy of author and Leafwood Publishers]


WHAT: Author reading, “Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache” by Alice J. Wisler. There will also be soup and cornbread.
WHEN: 10 a.m. to noon, Feb. 9
WHERE: Blacknall Presbyterian Church Fellowship Hall
1902 Perry St., Durham

Printed in the Durham Herald-Sun in the Faith and More section / January 31, 2013
Copyright 2013

To read reviews and order Getting Out Of Bed in the Morning, click here.

A Carolina Journey

A Carolina journey – for the author and characters


The Herald Sun

~*~*~*


AUTHOR READING:WHEN: 7 p.m. Thursday
WHERE: The Regulator Bookshop
720 Ninth St., Durham
“A Wedding Invitation” (Bethany House)
By Alice Wisler
BY DAWN BAUMGARTNER VAUGHAN
dvaughan@heraldsun.com;
419-6563

~*~*~*~*


DURHAM – Four years ago, Durham author Alice J. Wisler realized her aspirations with a book deal and her first novel, “Rain Song,” set in Mount Olive, N.C. Three more novels have followed, once a year – “How Sweet It Is,” set in the North Carolina mountains, “Hatteras Girl,” set on the coast, and now “A Wedding Invitation,” set partially in Winston-Salem. Wisler said she likes writing about North Carolina towns.


While working on “A Wedding Invitation,” she even held a contest for her fans to suggest character names. Lien’s and Carson’s names were both chosen by a Durham resident.With the first book, Wisler said, she was just so excited to be published. “Then as time goes on, there’s so much more to it. It’s not as though you’ve arrived,” she said. “You begin to see the long road ahead. You see others who’ve been continually published and learn from them. It’s not like you can rest – unless you’ve written ‘The Help.’ ”


Wisler has devoted fans, but even so, being an author isn’t quite the piece of cake one might assume.

Speaking of food, gathering at the table or in a kitchen is integral to building relationships in Wisler’s novels – and in most of our lives, too. The characters in “A Wedding Invitation” do much of their gathering in Aunt Dovie’s kitchen or in a Vietnamese restaurant.

At the center is Samantha, who lives in Northern Virginia and works at her mom’s ladies’ clothing store, but goes to Winston-Salem for a wedding it turns out she wasn’t actually invited to. She stays with her aunt, who takes in those who need some TLC. Samantha also reconnects with a man from her past. Seven years prior, in the mid-1980s, Samantha worked in a refugee camp in the Philippines for Vietnamese, Laotian and Cambodian people displaced from the Vietnam War. Carson was the young man she longed for, but he had a girlfriend back home so kept her at a distance. Samantha never got over him. In Winston, she also reconnects with a teenage girl, Lien, from the refugee camp. Samantha gains a new perspective of Lien and herself.

Like a true North Carolinian would know, after first reference, Winston-Salem is just referred to as “Winston.” Samples of Wisler’s own experiences are used in the book, like teaching in a refugee camp. In one scene, Dovie brings butterflies to a cemetery for a Compassionate Friends butterfly release, and Wisler leaned on Compassionate Friends after the death of her young son.

The book’s title, “A Wedding Invitation,” came also to Wisler, meant for the previous person who lived there. Unlike Samantha, Wisler didn’t go to the wedding. But she kept the fancy invitation and always wondered about it. It was the seed for this story.

Wisler’s four novels have been classified as in the “inspirational” genre, and published by Bethany House. The characters’ spiritual life is part of their daily lives, too. They go to church. They pray. They talk about God to each other. They don’t try to drive home a specific religious message or guarantee a happy ending. “A Wedding Invitation” is about second chances. It’s also about accepting flaws and moving on.

She wrote her first novel without aiming at particular genre, but Bethany House picked it up right away as inspirational fiction. She thinks there are more authors now in that genre that write more realistic stories.“I try to put relationships with God in their lives, but not in your face,” Wisler said. “It’s not like a sermon or prayer meeting. Certainly I want Christian characters to be flawed.”

The books Wisler is working on now may or may not be deemed inspirational, and she wants to reach a broader readership – both those who already read her novels, plus those who have yet to discover her. She’ll begin to veer away from 20-something protagonists in contemporary romances. Future books will feature an Amish man who fled the life to the North Carolina mountains, and another about a bereaved mother traveling the country in an RV, who also makes memory quilts.

“I’m looking to see where my writing is leading me,” Wisler said.

Copyright 2011 The Herald-Sun. All rights reserved. © heraldsun.com 2011

Review of How Sweet It Is --The Herald Sun

Review: Wisler's second a lesson in writing through pain

BY DAWN BAUMGARTNER VAUGHAN : The Herald-Sun
dvaughan@heraldsun.com
Jun 21, 2009

"How Sweet It Is"

By Alice Wisler

(Bethany House, 309 pages, softcover, $13.99)

Deena Livingston can't move on. Or get past it. She's just trying to get through it. What other option is there when your fiance almost kills you in a car wreck, then never visits you in the hospital, where you find out he's dating someone else. Deena is left with multiple scars -- deep rivers on her arms and emotional damage that won't seem to heal.

Enter the opportunity to move away from Atlanta to the mountains of Bryson City. The bad memories follow, but new memories are created, thanks to her late grandfather. Deena teaches cooking classes to troubled middle school students at her grandfather's behest, and she starts her own cake business.

"How Sweet It Is" is the second novel of Durham author Alice J. Wisler -- herself a baker of cakes.

There are pieces of Wisler in the novel, in terms of circumstance. Her 4-year-old son died, and she teaches a class in writing through pain. Deena writes through her own pain in a journal. Wisler once ran a cake business from home like Deena. And Wisler has a bachelor's degree in social work and worked with emotionally challenged children.

Her last novel, "Rain Song," also had personal elements. The setting is Mt. Olive, which Wisler had passed through, and the main character also lived in Japan, as did Wisler. She has spent the past 21 years in Durham and has three children.

Wisler's publisher, Bethany House, is a Christian fiction imprint. Religion is woven into the story in location and Deena's thoughts. The youth center where Deena teaches is in her church, and Bible verses posted throughout serve as reminders to Deena as well as the kids. And in Deena's own thoughts, she thinks how she is all the things she shouldn't be -- angry, jealous, unforgiving. Yet she also prays for things both trivial and serious about herself and reaches out to God for strength.

Faith is an undercurrent that bubbles up here and there throughout the novel as Deena deals with her new life. She constantly doubts herself. The words outside of quotes are her real self, while what she says aloud is guarded and cautious. She has flaws, which readers might find appealing in the sense that Deena isn't so different from the rest of the world. Everyone has negative thoughts. Everyone has a hard time getting through difficult times. Everyone jumps to conclusions about others until they get to know them better. Wisler shares these ideas in a casual way, a natural way as Deena's story unfolds. It is light and easy reading, but it deals with serious topics most of us face at some point in our lives.

Deena takes comfort in food, and in the faint presence of her grandfather. She didn't know him much at all, but learns about him through what he has given her -- his cabin, a job at the youth center, a letter about life, and a sense of home. She also gains family that isn't so guarded. Her aunt -- her dad's sister -- welcomes her openly and knits a family bond with her. That is new to Deena, whose mother kept her from her in-laws and urged her to keep her emotions bottled up. That makes it even harder for Deena to consider a new life, with a potential new love, a social worker she meets at the center. He tries to draw her out, but she is most relaxed around the local plumber, Jonas, who has his own mental challenges but keen insight.

Wisler gives readers the story of a woman who tries to find her way to recovery and forgiveness, with sweetness that is subtle but real.