Do you journal?

Recently, I was invited to Career Day at Erwin Elementary School in Erwin, NC. I didn't even know our state had an Erwin, although I'm quite familiar with Erwin Road. After driving in the rain for an hour and a half from my home in Durham, I arrived at the school.

The staff in the office ushered me into a big, old library. Immediately, I was glad that I was to be stationed there. One of the things that captured my writer's heart was the cozy nook. What an inviting spot for young readers and even for me, an old reader.

The librarian set my novels on a podium in front of a white board. I barely had time to thank her when the door opened and in came a group of fifth graders. Full of questions, they were attentive. When I asked how many of them journaled, a dozen hands shot up. I was impressed.

Every thirty minutes after that, a new group of students entered and I repeated my spiel about what being a paid writer entails. Each time I asked, to my surprise, there were a number of third, fourth, and fifth graders who admitted to keeping a journal.

As I do with every student I encounter, whether young or old, I encouraged each of them to keep writing and reading.

~*~*~*

What does journaling do for you?

*Gives you a safe place to write your thoughts
*Allows you to unleash your hurts, worries, and fears
*Teaches you about yourself
*Shows you how you handle your joys and woes
*Helps you solve many of your problems

If you have lost a loved one to death, journaling about your grief is an excellent way to deal with all the tough emotions. Instead of keeping them bottled up, the act of writing them out provides a healthy way to heal.

Whether you use a plain notebook or a fancy book, why don't you enter the world of journaling today?

And if you'd like to explore more writing opportunities and discover what writing can do for you, join us on April 7th for the next Writing the Heartache online workshop.

[First posted at Alice's Writing the Heartache blog.]

Discover the Value of Writing for Healing and Hope

One of the beautiful things about living this life without is how we have the freedom to help others without. What a sad world it would be if we kept all knowledge to ourselves---all nuggets of wisdom, all beads of hope, all glimpses of truth. The beauty is that in our despair we seek and do find life-giving morsels along the way to share with others. Writing through pain has been my respite. When my son Daniel first died I looked forward to dates with my journal each evening. In the pages of my journal, I penned my pain and sorrow.

Like Alice Walker said, "Writing saved me."

It saved me from harboring bitterness, relentless anger and fear. As I wrote, I gained wisdom. Wisdom about loss, sorrow, and even ways to cope. I was asked to speak at conferences and instruct writing workshops. I watched as tentative writers—writers who thought that they could not write—wipe tears from their eyes after reading aloud a poem or letter.

I love hearing how others have found the gift of writing to be a healing method to deal with the rocky path of bereavement. I challenge you to use your journal as a place where you can discover the healing and health that comes with putting pen to paper.

26 Steps to Effectively Writing the Heartache

1. Buy a journal.
2. Find a secluded place to write where you can think clearly without distractions.
3. Candles and/or soft music may create a soothing mood for you as you write.
4. Write freely.
5. Write honestly.
6. Don’t worry about grammar or penmanship.
7. Write, at first, for your eyes only. This doesn’t have to be shared with anyone.
8. Write daily, if you can.
9. Write to remember your child. Your thoughts and reflections of him or her are a keepsake or a legacy.
10. Write to gain insight into this bereavement journey.
11. Write to chart progress for you to read years down the road.
12. Write with the feeling: I will survive this.
13. Write to identify your emotions and feelings.
14. Write to help solve some of the new situations you must now face.
15. Write to understand the new you (self-awareness).
16. Carry your journal and /or paper with you at all times in case you have the need to write. Even place your journal by your bedside to record in the mornings dreams you find significant.
17. Think of your journal as a friend who never judges and who can never hurt you.
18. Write your spiritual struggles.
19. Write a letter to your child about what has happened since he died.
20. Write a food-related memory you have of your child.
21. Write of hope even if it may only seem too far to grasp during the early season of loss. People who have had a child die many years before you, now speak of hope. One day you will be able to tell newly bereaved parents hope can be gained.
22. Write your own Psalm of agony or of gratitude.
23. Take the memory of your child with you on an outing and write about the day through his eyes.
24. Use your journal as a punching bag in the sense you can spout off through your pen at someone who has been insensitive towards you without having to literally punch him or her.
25. Write to rebuild your self-esteem and self-confidence.
26. Write a poem of love to your child.

(From Down the Cereal Aisle: A Basket or Recipes and Remembrances, 2003, by Alice J. Wisler)

Check out my workshops in June and July at my website!
June 3: Writing the Heartache Online Workshop (runs for five weeks)
June 15: Write to Create for all aspiring writers, held all day in Raleigh, NC
June 22: Writing to a Healthier You, held all day in Norcross, GA
July 27: Journey through Life's Losses, held all day in Raleigh, NC

My mind is no longer a jumble!

"I used to not like to write, but after engaging in the writing exercise you provided during your presentaion, I think I'm going to make writing part of my every day life!"

"Thanks to your course, I have found a friend in writing."

"Writing makes it all clear. My mind is no longer a jumble."

"Wow! I didn't realize how free I'd feel after writing my problems out."

These are some of the many testimonies I have received from those who have listened and written. Whatever your sorrow, whatever you are going through on your journey, whatever crisis or deep pain, writing has a way of bringing hope, healing and health.

Give it a try today! Discover how to make writing work for you through this guided workshop.

To sign up for the next online Writing the Heartache workshop that starts April 15th, register here.

Want an all-day workshop? There is one scheduled for July 27. Read all about it here.

Discover. Unveil. Heal. Hope. Write!

Who's afraid to join us on March 9th? Don't belief the myths. Discover instead, what writing through heartache can open for you!

Recently many have told me, "I always thought I hated to write, but after participating in this writing exercise of yours, Alice, well, I like it now!" Some have even confessed that they want to incorporate writing into their daily routines.

That's what I like to hear!

At my all-day workshops, here's some of what we do:
* Share our stories
* Eat chocolate
* Put pen to paper
* Meet interesting people like us
* Recognize the value in what writing does for us as people with heartache
* Energize our writing as we learn new tips and techniques
* Write from prompts
* Eat lunch
* Shed some tears
* Leave with new inspirations


Sign up for the all-day Journey Through Life's Losses Workshop on March 9th by heading over to this link now.

Why Writing the Heartache Works

Everyone knows that I teach and promote writing through sorrow and loss. The ability to release my anguish that bottled inside me each day after my son's death was healing. I took my journal and pen and wrote in between changing diapers (I gave birth to my fourth child three months after Daniel died), making peanut butter sandwiches for my toddler, and walking my oldest to the bus stop for first grade.

One of the books I bought that I highly recommend to the newly-bereaved is Forever Remembered. This small book is filled with cherished messages of hope, love, and comfort from courageous people who have lost a loved one.

The other day one selection jumped out at me, and I thought, "Ah, this is good. I wish everyone realized this!"

Here it is for you to read. It's nice to see that others feel that writing through grief is some of the best therapy there is. Give it a try today.

It was a few months after my grandmother's death that
I was taking a course in creative writing. My teacher suggested
that I record some of my thoughts to help me work through my sadness.
This diary became my memorial to her. Even now I read aloud the pages.
I still laugh and cry about times we shared together.

~Earl A. Grollman

The Daniel Journal

I embraced it; I loathed it. It was a cloth bound book with blue and red swirled flowers on the cover. Inside were the raw words from my heart and soul.

Once it was filled with crisp, lined pages. That was the day it was gifted to me by my three-year-old son Daniel's oncology nurse. That day it was just a pretty journal. Daniel smiled as I thanked this nurse for her thoughtful present.

Months later, this object contained sentences no one wants to ever write.

Never far from me, I lived for moments when I could take respite from my days to visit with this book. No longer clean and white, it was stained with tears, full of questions, anger, agony, and sorrow.

I'd kept a plaid-covered journal when Daniel was diagnosed with neuroblastoma. That was a journal where hope lined the pages because I was certain that with faith and prayers, chemo, surgeries, and radiation, my son would be cured of his aggressive tumor.

After Daniel's funeral, I knew that the blue and red journal would never hold hope. Life, as I knew it and wanted, had ended. With Daniel gone, I only wanted the floor to open up and swallow me, taking me away from pain and misery.

The floor never opened. But the journal was there every day, allowing me to deposit whatever I needed onto the numerous pages. I wrote under a weeping willow tree at a local park, at a secluded booth in my favorite coffee shop, at stop lights. I wrote when I was frustrated with those who didn't care about my brokenness, and when a stranger sent a card to comfort me.

When the pages ran out, I purchased another journal, and then another. I never expected one journal to be able to contain the entire volumes of my heartache.

My journals of the early years after Daniel's passing sit in a bag in my closet now. I know that at anytime I could open one, and read. Yet, I don't. Although much stronger now, thanks to my journal-writing, I still don't want to face that woman who didn't want to live.

The blue and red journal is more than a journal. This gift I received became a gift to myself and my sanity whenever I opened it to release parts of my torn heart.

While I often hated having a reason to have to write in it, I will always be grateful that it was there for me---never judgmental, never belittling, never preachy. Writing made me a believer that putting pen to paper is one of the best resources we have as humans for healing.

Because as I wrote, this journal provided me with something I didn't think it ever could or would. Hope.