I wrote the following years ago on my Broken Psalms blog and wanted to share it here.
We are a broken people.
Lots of people don't want to admit to that.
Even those who follow Jesus and have deep faith. They want to prove themselves educated or well-off, or sufficient, their own saviors, their own independent clauses.
When I was little, my line was: "Alice can do it." This meant, step aside, Mommy and Daddy, I can set the table, I can put my own shoes on, and later it evolved to, I can be sufficient. I don't need anyone.
Some of us try to cover ourselves up with accessories and the newest fashion, and fill our minds with an expensive education. There's nothing wrong with looking good or being smart. (I tried it once; it was wonderful!)
But when our pride of what we can do starts to deceive us into thinking we are superior to others or better off or more loved, then we aren't living a life of humility or service. We aren't transparent. We're soaked up with ourselves. We can do it. Alone. Look at us. Like a kid swinging from the top bar of the jungle gym, "See me. I am strong. I don't need you."
Then we fall.
Where is God?
Why do I hurt so much?
What is wrong with me?
"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone. My hope comes from Him." Psalm 62:5.
God alone gives us hope. Nothing else.
In all our pain and struggles, He alone restores us to Him, comforts us, knows us.
We were born broken and we will die broken. There is no complete restoration of us---not the kind that transforms us into independent creatures without a need for The One who gives us the only Hope worth pursuing. We cannot save ourselves. We can't fix ourselves.
But we can accept our limitations. And quit trying to pretend that we are self-sufficient. We need Him. Sometimes I still fight how much I do.
Because inside of me is this little voice that wants to do it on her own.
Find rest, O my soul.
When you reach out to rely on Him, when you hand Him the broken pieces of your life, that's when real living happens.
